Tag: Today

Posted in About today

How do you date twenty five people at once?

Posted on by WeeGee

It’s been a funny old day in WeeGee land today. I am still very poorly but I am also a bit bouncy and enthusiastic which is a strange combination because it makes you do silly things like wearing an outfit you bought to go to  a wedding to work and feeling a bit over dressed for the rest of the day…..

I didn’t fancy a re-run of yesterday’s adventures in not boring yourself to death when you are poorly at home so I decided I might as well go into the office to try and not bore myself to death there instead. It’s actually quite easy not to bore yourself to death in the office on a Friday when everybody is in a good mood and therefore more susceptible to join in when WeeGee bounces around being distracted and generally hilarious. Much fun was had in the office this afternoon and I kept forgetting I was poorly, which was nice. We also decided what’s going to happen next in Homeland* and which one of the IT Crowd is most likely to buy an ipad mini even though they’ve already got a pad, pod and phone and every other gadget going – the conclusion was Mr Hilarious, by the way and that is exactly why Mr Hilarious is my best friend in the world bar none.

What next? Oh I know….. I had a particularly amusing search engine term yesterday which I thought I’d share: “how do you date 25 people at once?”. In the off chance that person comes back to my blog in an attempt to find the answer I’m going to point it out to them: YOU DON’T. THE END. Whilst we are on the subject of online dating here are my top tips for the day:

  • It is never, ever, socially acceptable (not even on the Interweb) to say the following to a stranger ‘hey there WeeGee can you tell me how fab your tits are?**’
  • If you’ve never met me and you call me ‘darling’ I will take an instant and irretrievable dislike to you***
  • If a guy sends you his number and the only thing you can think of to store it as is ‘Nick the perv’ you definitely don’t want to store it

I think that’s about it from an online dating point of view – although I should point out that I met a magician recently. As in a real life actual person who goes to work as a Magician every day. How cool is that?

Now for a small serious section

I’ve been having a few little worries to myself recently – not the big “I’m so worried I’m going to jump off something tall so I don’t have to worry anymore” kind of worry, but you know what I’m like with worrying so I thought it was the kind of thing I should talk through with Mrs Mountain. Mrs Mountain reliably informed me that most of the things I am worrying about are the things that NORMAL PEOPLE worry about anyway. Which was nice. She also pointed out that if you’ve spent two years wanting to climb up a tall thing just so you can jump off it it’s natural to be a little frightened by the thought you might actually like to climb up a tall thing just for the sheer hell of it – and that made a lot of sense to me.

We also did a bit of boundary checking today what with boundaries being one of the things I’ve been having a little worry about. My usual problem with boundaries is setting them too narrow so that nobody can get anywhere near me – I know about narrow boundaries and how to sort that out. What I don’t know about is boundaries that are too wide, and I suppose I was worried that the current attack of the bouncy and enthusiastics might have set my boundaries too widely and was giving too much of myself away. Anyway, we came to the conclusion that probably isn’t the case because I’m not ending up anywhere I feel uncomfortable and also because I know that I get to set my own boundaries and that’s the end of that.

The end of the small serious section

Meanwhile in other news I will shortly be going home to be poorly which sucks because everybody else in the whole entire world is going out to eat, drink and be merry and I’m quite bouncy so I’d like to do a bit of that too. Instead I am going home to eat healthy red, green and brown stuff, and then cuddle up with Gryff and watch Have I Got News For You. Rock and roll. Nothing else to report today save that…. Did I mention I am poorly?

Lots of love and awesome things from WeeGee Still McSickNote xxx

*If what we’ve decided is going to happen doesn’t happen I am going to be VERY DISAPPOINTED

**Because everybody knows that the correct terminology when addressing a lady such as myself is ‘breasts’. That is A Joke, by the way

***Most other affectionate pet names are acceptable apart from maybe sweet cheeks, I’m not keen on that

Posted in About today

Ignore me – I’m a lunatic

Posted on by WeeGee

You know my last post? Well you can ignore that one already because broken brain isn’t getting away with that one. I liked my little hope and I’m keeping it whether the brain likes it or not.

The very lovely Ellie AKA the Anxious Elephant nominated me for the ‘very inspiring blogger award’ which was good of her not least because her blog is awesome. I’ve had that one before* so I’m not going to re-accept but I thought I’d half take part by telling you seven things about myself . That’ll be good fun eh?

Seven things that WeeGee did today

1. WeeGee realised she was having the annual swollen tonsils event and thought ‘what a pain in the backside that is’.

2. WeeGee got all bundled up in her new hat to go to the doctors but soon realised she didn’t need her new hat because it wasn’t actually that cold and she was too hot to start with anyway. This is me in my new hat** which I share with you because it’s new and I haven’t had any compliments yet. Yes. That was a hint.

3. WeeGee finally got to the end of The Thick of It and realised that Mr Friendly was right when he said it peaked at episode five. Which annoyed her because now she can’t have an argument about it with him.

4. WeeGee spent the afternoon trying to complete her mission to read the whole of the Internet. She hasn’t quite managed it yet but her preliminary review is that some of it is good but most of it is RUBBISH

5. WeeGee spent a lot of time wondering how she hadn’t discovered Good Old War on spotify before because they are AWESOME

6. WeeGee had a little bit of a wobbly boohoo moment but was okay in the end

7. WeeGee decided that she was going into work tomorrow even if she dies in the night because being poorly at home is BORING

Told you it’d be fun 😀

Lots of love from WeeGee McSickNote xxxxx

*I must be very inspiring or somefink!

**I’m not actually smiling – that’s my ‘I’m very poorly’ brave face

Posted in About today

Why must I do this to myself?

Posted on by WeeGee

I apologise in advance for this one. I’m afraid it isn’t very cheery. Today I am sad. Actually, I’m not only sad, I feel like somebody tuned out all the lights again….

It started, I guess when I was listening to this song*

http://youtu.be/GiqOsKngc-c

And I was having a nice little hope to myself – thinking ‘please, please let me get what I want’ when it hit me. What if I can’t cope with not getting what I think I might want? What if I end up all devastated and bereft and the flat and empties return to torment me for another million years?

So I started to think about doing what WeeGee does when confronted with such situations – I decided hiding was the only option. Instead of waiting to find out if I might get what I want for once in my life I’ll decide I don’t want it. I’ll spend my time forgetting about my little hope and I’ll never find out what might have happened and I’ll head off something bad happening by making sure that nothing good happens.

Why must I do this to myself?

 

*Golden rule of recovery? Don’t listen to the Smiths when you are poorly and sad

Posted in Little things that made me smile

Holy Swearword!

Posted on by WeeGee

I had a bit of a ‘holy swearword moment’ this morning. I woke up*, got out of bed: morning Gryff, morning Sean** flipped the kettle on and headed for the shower. When I was in the shower I thought ‘ooooh I wonder what’s going to happen today?’ and started having a nice little daydream about all the things that might happen. Which is when I had my ‘holy swearword moment’…..

So you know I’ve spent the last five months of my blog going ‘boo hoo, woe is me, I hate myself and everything is pointless?’. Guess what’s happened now? I’ve only gone and worked out what the point is.

I don’t know what’s going to happen today AND THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. Things are going to happen – good things, bad things, weird things, funny things and all sorts of other things and WeeGee is going to be right there in the world finding out what things are going on.

How exciting is my holy swearword moment?

I was bursting to share that with you, but I’ll be back later to fill you in on the gossip.

Lots of love and a little bit of gratuitous swearing (but not out loud because Rhio doesn’t like it) from WeeGee xxx

 

 

*Early again which I LOVE

**Sean W Keavney of Six Music fame***

***Bet you thought I’d got a new man for a minute there didn’t you? Hey – I’m good at online dating but I’m not that good 😉

 

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

I love my kettle

Posted on by WeeGee

I came to the conclusion that I had to speak to somebody about being all bouncy and enthusiastic after the following occurred:

WeeGee wakes up early and thinks I LOVE waking up early

WeeGee looks in the mirror and thinks I LOVE my  haircut

WeeGee picks Gryff up and thinks I LOVE Gryff

WeeGee turns the radio on and thinks I LOVE this song

WeeGee switches the kettle on and thinks…… I LOVE MY KETTLE.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice enough kettle, but that’s really not the point.

I’m fairly confident that the flat and empties are on their way out of my life for a little while which means that the chemicals in my brain are swimming around in the right places in the right quantities. That’s the good part. The bad part is that my brain has been flat and empty for more than two years now and it doesn’t really know what’s hit it. In response broken brain has decided that it’s invincible and that it LOVES everything which is a) exhausting and b) a bit dangerous. It’s dangerous because the last time my brain was like that I did a number of monumentally stupid things, the consequences of which I’m still dealing with now.

I spoke to Mr Wise about what was going on, on account of him being all wise about matters concerning WeeGee’s wonky brain. Here’s what we decided:

 

  • I’m a little bit over excited and suggestible at the moment
  • I’m aware that I’m a little bit over excited and suggestible at the moment
  • The fact that I’m aware that I’m a little bit over excited and suggestible at the moment is a good thing because it means I’ve got the wherewithal to know that buying a brand new Audi on Hire Purchase probably isn’t a good idea right now

Actually here’s another thing I know – being a bit excited at the moment isn’t an entirely bad thing because it is partly in response to exciting things happening. That’s perfectly normal – my only difficulty is that the mentals are magnifying things a little bit.

Finally here’s the most important thing I know – eventually all this bounding around filled full of enthusiasm is going to settle down and that’s going to mean that I’m getting towards the end of the road to recovery. My aim for the time between now and settling down is to make sure that I don’t do anything monumentally stupid and (go me) I have a little plan.

Here’s what WeeGee is going to do:

  • Continue to take her meds until such a time that Mr Clever says otherwise
  • Contact Mr Clever’s office if she thinks she’s going to rate a day as better than ten out of ten
  • Consult with Mr Wise before making any purchases or financial decisions
  • Avoid alcohol completely
  • Be careful with caffeine and sugar
  • Not get a tattoo
  • Not dye her hair any colour but especially not a colour involving the word neon
  • Not buy a brand new Audi* on Hire Purchase

Anyway – I’m feeling rather pleased with myself at the moment because I saw something coming down the tracks and I didn’t wait to see what happened when it hit me – I had a bit of insight and took some positive action and you can’t say fairer than that

Lots of love, hugs and bouncing around from WeeGee xxxxx

*I don’t know where the obsession with owning an Audi comes from because a) I don’t care about cars and b) I can’t drive……

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

The Interweb dating people

Posted on by WeeGee

I actually wrote this post last night but I wanted to have one of my little thinks before I posted it – mainly because of that thing I have about not being unkind and being generally fair to people on my blog. Anyhoo – I’ve had my think now and I am starting with a little point of order:

I really want to keep you up to date with my adventures, but I’m also very aware that the Interweb dating people are real people too. I don’t think would be fair for me to write too much about particular people here. So I’m not really going to do that – I’ll mostly just write in the general. Once in a while I might mention specific people as they relate to me – much like I do with people in the real world – because I don’t think that’s unfair or unkind in the slightest.

That’s the little point of order taken care of then.

I think I’ve just about found my feet in the online dating world, although I must confess I’m not entirely convinced that I’ve quite got my head around the etiquette of ‘winking’….

So far I have discovered several distinct species on match.com and I already have a favourite species. This is good and has also served to remind me that those of us who spend considerable chunks of our time being mental tend also to be people who know ourselves very well. I know who I am, and I know the way that other people impact on me. I suppose you could say, it gives one the advantage when it comes to separating the wheat from the chaff.

Anyway – here’s a little run down of the species I have identified so far:

Mr glass of wine: This animal ‘doesn’t like talking online’ and would prefer to cut to the chase, as it were. Mr Glass of wine gets a great big thumbs down because all that ‘not talking online’ stuff suggests to me that he isn’t terribly interested in getting to know anyone and has his mind on other things. Also the idea that I might consider meeting someone based only on a photo they want me to think looks like them and some kind of notional description about travelling, and socialising and other such generalities IS THE WORST IDEA I’VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

Mr I want to know the secrets of your heart: This is an usual but not at all rare creature who has very fixed ideas about how you behave in the online dating environment. He has a long list of questions relating to life, the world and the universe and will occasionally ask how you feel about getting married or some other big one plus one life event. They also tend not to get my hilarious jokes. I’m afraid ‘secrets of your heart guy intimidates me a little. He wants to know about things like my ideal Sunday, my biggest fear, my ambition in life, or what I had for breakfast on the 18th July 1999. Do you know what? My best friend doesn’t know some of that stuff about me BECAUSE IT ISN’T REALLY IMPORTANT TO HAVING A FRIENDSHIP.

Mr deal breaker: Mr deal breaker is a focused and determined creature. If he likes photography and you don’t he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore which is fine, I guess. I’m just not entirely sure why that kind of interests and hobbies stuff is so important. If the man of my dreams turns out to love Morris Dancing that’s perfectly fine but why would I need to love it too? I’VE GOT HOBBIES OF MY OWN YOU KNOW.

Mr slightly scary: I find Mr Slightly scary very difficult to deal with. On the surface he seems generally pleasant but there’s something a bit unsettling about him. If I said to you that he’s probably a life-long fan of musical theatre who has always lived with his mother and wears a trench coat would you know what was talking about? Mr slightly scary makes HUGE GINORMOUS ALARM BELLS RING IN MY HEAD

Mr very scary: This animal is extremely aggressive and should be approached and handled with care. He requires an INSTANT RESPONSE TO ALL OF HIS COMMUNICATIONS or he will, in no uncertain terms, let you know that he thinks you are pretty much the Whore of Babylon because you are ‘talking to other men’. It will probably come as no surprise to you that being called the Whore of Babylon is usually an instant conversation killer for WeeGee.

Mr I’m very probably normal and the kind of person that WeeGee will feel comfortable chatting to: This lovely little creature is a rare one indeed. In fact I have thus far discovered only two such rare gems. The very probably normal creature is, well, very probably normal. He’ll be happy to swap general chit chat about our days and let the conversation ramble around from there. He’ll be amusing and cheeky without being at all lewd. He’ll have something interesting to say for himself. Mr very probably normal might be keen to meet up but perfectly happy to have a chat over a cuppa instead of wondering what happens if he gets me smashed off my face on cheap wine*

Finally, and this I think is the most important one of all you can say to Mr very probably normal ‘You know you said you quite liked me? Guess what? I’m a nutter!’ and he will say ‘okay’ and then crack a joke about how I can’t possibly be a lunatic if I hate Coldplay, or point out that I’m actually ‘not that much of a fruit loop’ Which suggests an understanding of what I’ve said and an engagement with what I’m about – I think that’s pretty telling actually.

I suppose the only other thing I can mention about Internet dating is my mother. Mum is of the generation of people who thinks that the whole of the Internet is a dark and dangerous place inhabited only by people of the Mr slightly scary variety. She is therefore absolutely convinced that I’m going to wind up as headline news for being yet another poor innocent girl who was murdered by some ogre she met online. Different times, I guess but it does kind of bother me that she thinks I’m quite so naïve. I mean, I’m an awful lot of things but naïve is certainly not one of them. Anyway I mention this because in response to my adventures in online dating my mum is phoning me up every two minutes to check if I’ve changed my mind about meeting Simon the accountant from her church. I don’t mind that he’s an accountant and I couldn’t care less that he goes to church but if I add those two things to the fact that my mother thinks he is a potential suitor for me I KNOW THAT HE IS NOT A POTENTIAL SUITOR FOR ME.

So yeah – one week, a million and one lessons, a very annoying mother, a spot of online people watching** and two gems. I quite like online dating.

Lots of love from WeeGee xxx

 

 

*The answer to that question is I go all sweet and endearing for a while but end up crying and going home in the fullness of time

**I’d love to do it from the other side and see what tribes us female Interweb dating folks fall into. Maybe Brandon Bored could fill me in?

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

Quiet night in

Posted on by WeeGee

Gryff hasn’t been over the moon about my recent adventures in having a social life so, after a busy week, I’ve decided it was about time I spent some time with him. I’ve been looking forward to it all day which is kinda strange because I’ve been more in the habit of dreading evenings where I don’t have anything to do* whereas now it just seems like a nice quiet night in with the cat…… Plus I’ve got about three million hours of soap operas to catch up with along with a further three squillion blogs to read so the time will be spent wisely.

It’s been an action packed week what with work – where I am now back to full time hours and loving it again – and me being all out and about doing stuff. I’m pretty exhausted to be honest and feel like I need some time to myself now. I guess that’s some more lessons: the diary doesn’t have to be completely full to ‘prove’ I’m okay and fancying a bit of time to yourself is fine because it’s entirely different from hiding.

I’m still not completely sure of the next step for How do you eat an elephant? I want to keep it up, but I’ve always thought about it as a blog about being mental. I suppose I could just write about the random stuff that goes in my head because at the end of the day it’s usually a bit mental  – it’s just not mental mental if you see what I mean? For now I suppose I’m just going to update on an as and when basis and see where that takes me. Taking things as they come eh? Go me! I have felt bad about being slightly absent here on WordPress for a while and I’m trying (in vain at the moment) to catch up keep up with my reading. I’m sure once I’m settled into my new routines I’ll get better although I do have to say that you lot are a fairly prolific bunch!

Nothing else to report today I’m afraid – I’ll fill you in on the details another time.

Hope you are doing okay

Love from WeeGee xxxx

*Which has been most of them of late

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

Always going somewhere

Posted on by WeeGee

I thought it was about time I popped up to say hello. *WeeGee pops up* “Hello – how’s everyone getting on?”

The other day I was reading about the distance a human being travels when they are doing nothing more than standing still – you know what with the Earth spinning round in the solar system* and all. I really like the idea that we’re always going somewhere even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

For the last two years I’ve felt stuck and hopeless – trapped by my broken brain. I’ve been to some pretty hellish places and at times, I felt like it was all over, that there was nothing I could do. What I didn’t realise (or what I forgot to remember from prior attacks of the mentals) was that I had to go to all of the hellish places in order to get to where I am now. What’s that thing about having to go there to come back?

As to where I am now – well I’m okay. Don’t get me wrong: it hasn’t all gone away and I still feel pointless and empty. But (and it’s a big but**) I’m in the right place to take it on. You know last week, when Mr Clever the bow tie wearing psychiatrist said I might be ‘delusional’? I don’t think he thought I was delusional at all. I think he was trying to get my attention and remind me that I’m doing well which means that this is EXACTLY the time to deal with all the things I refuse to deal with – from this breakdown, and the last, and the one before that. I guess that’s why he’s the clever psychiatrist….

So yeah – I’m ready to throw myself into it. I’m ready to accept where I am and how I got here. I’m ready to iron out all the creases. The beauty of it is that I’ve still got that white coat safety net on my side.

I’ll never be ‘normal’. That’s just the way it goes. But I will manage this – I will take responsibility and get back to myself (however inadequate I think myself to be). I’ve done it before and I’m ready to do it again.

Lots of love from WeeGee (who has just written an uncharacteristically positive post)

*Scientific accuracy is not guaranteed

**Ho ho

Posted in About today

A little pointless ramble with WeeGee

Posted on by WeeGee

I’ve been in a thoughtful mood today, so instead of doing a standard beginning, middle and end kind of post I’ve decided to do a ramble around WeeGee’s head kind of post instead. Don’t worry though, I promises not to ramble us into any of the dark hell hole corners…..

I’ll start with a status update on my head injury because when you have an injury it is important to talk about it ALL THE TIME to ensure maximum sympathy from those around you.

The swelling has mostly gone down although there is still a slight puffiness hanging around if you look closely* The black eye is at the attractive yellowish purple stage which is upsetting because it looks like I have either a) a dirty face or b) very badly applied eye makeup. These things are upsetting because the WeeGee is an incredibly clean and well groomed creature in the wild. Finally the full extent of the cut has become apparent. The full extent is that it isn’t so much a cut as a small hole in my head. I’m surprised you can’t see bone: that’s how brutal it is.

Did I get any sympathy yet?

The only other consequence of my injury is that I can’t wink. I guess we just have to hope that I don’t meet the man of my dreams before it heals up because as far as chatting people up goes I don’t have much more than my sexy and alluring wink….

Writing that made me think about chat up lines (I told you this was going to be a ramble around my head). I don’t think I’ve ever used one myself but I’ve had a few used on me in my time. Here are some of my favourites:

  • Drunk Neanderthal man in a nightclub: ‘…..do you like Oasis’. Me ‘No I prefer Blur’**
  • Drunk man in pub: ‘What would you do if I kissed you right now?’ Me: ‘I’d probably poke you in the eye’***. Drunk man in pub: ‘I won’t bother then’****
  • Lovely guy with a learning difference at work: ‘My dad says I should get married to someone my own age’. Me: ‘He’s probably right’ Lovely guy with a learning difference at work: ‘I’m 44. How old are you?’

As you can probably tell, I’m not very good at getting chatted up……

Do you know what – I’ve never really been on a date in my life. Not in the formal sense of the word anyway. I’ve always either been a) in a relationship or b) too mental to go on a date. Technically speaking I don’t think I’m too mental to go on a date at the moment – it’s just that I’d rather stick needles in my eye than spend an evening making small talk with a stranger.

I made a nice vegetable tagine for dinner this evening. That isn’t very interesting but it did make me realise that although I would instinctively say that I don’t like tomatoes it isn’t actually true: what I don’t like is RAW tomatoes. Cooked tomatoes are actually up there in my favourites. It’s funny how the brain works, isn’t it. That isn’t very interesting either, is it?

Anyhoo. I think I’ve rambled around in a pointless fashion enough for now. I’ve done this rambling, by the way, because I don’t much feel like talking about the thing that is at the front of my mind today. I’m not hiding anymore but I’m in no mood for talking about what’s really going on.

Meanwhile in other news I have decided to postpone my Homeland viewing until Sunday so I can be at the same point as the rest of the UK. Nothing else to report today save that I was rather amused by the GROWN WOMAN who waved a leek in my face in the seven-eleven and asked ‘is this parsley’? ‘No, it isn’t’, I said. Because what else can you say?

Tatty bye folks

Lots of love WeeGee xxx

*Not that anyone is likely to look THAT closely

**Which wasn’t strictly true but it did the trick

***Regular readers will have predicted my action

****He lost extra marks for his woeful lack of persistence, by the way.

Posted in About today

Moaning Minnie

Posted on by WeeGee

Today it feels like the sky has fallen in. Sometimes that just happens doesn’t it? There you are, rumbling along quite nicely when Boom! It’s all dread, and regret and sadness and boo bloody hoo again.

There was only one thing that I wanted to do today and that was hide. I didn’t want to see anybody, or talk to anybody and I especially didn’t want to spend three hours of my afternoon meeting with 8 gigantic arseholes who were all a little too fond of the sound of their own voices.

Still – you don’t always get what you want. In fact, sometimes what you get is the exact opposite of what you wanted and the only thing you can do is suck it up.

What is it with people in meetings? I have a (very sensible) rule in meetings that goes something like this: If I don’t have anything to say I won’t actually say anything. As an additional rule if I agree with what someone says I simply say “I agree” instead of repackaging the exact same thing in my own arse-holey words. If everyone were to adopt these rules I would spend considerably less of my time in meetings. AND SO WOULD EVERYONE ELSE.

Whilst I’m on a little roll I’m going to have a moan about ‘pre-meetings’. That’s a meeting you have to discuss what you’re going to talk about at the meeting because apparently, that’s the best use of everybody’s time. Unbelievably there’s a new thing creeping in which is the ‘pre, pre-meeting’. This is where you discuss what you are going to talk about in the pre meeting so that you know what you are going to talk about in the meeting-before-the-meeting.

If we ever get to the stage of the pre, pre, pre-meeting I expect I shall jump out of a window (I’ll tie the ridiculous amount of meeting related paperwork cluttering up my desk to my ankles just to make sure)

I’m a little bit tired and a little bit grumpy today as well as a bit boo hoo. Can you tell?

Anyway. I’m home now so I should be able to fit in a good few hours of hiding. Which is nice. I’m supposed to be cooking some complicated Thai salmon/coconut thing but I’m not sure I’ve got the energy for something quite so adventurous. I might do my variation on Jamie Oliver’s Thirty Minute Meals instead. It doesn’t take as long as thirty minutes actually:

Toast bread/Heat Beans/Add Cheese. Done*.

Meanwhile in other news I’m trying to decide whether I want to watch Homeland online or wait until next week when it’s on in the UK anyway. Nothing else to report today save….. No. There really isn’t anything else to report today.

Lots of love from WeeGee

 

 

*I suppose it should’ve been ‘pukka’ what with ‘done’ being Gordon Ramsay’s catchphrase and all. But if I’d said pukka I would have had to poke myself in the eye and I’ve got enough face related injuries for the time being.