I’ve been in a thoughtful mood today, so instead of doing a standard beginning, middle and end kind of post I’ve decided to do a ramble around WeeGee’s head kind of post instead. Don’t worry though, I promises not to ramble us into any of the dark hell hole corners…..
I’ll start with a status update on my head injury because when you have an injury it is important to talk about it ALL THE TIME to ensure maximum sympathy from those around you.
The swelling has mostly gone down although there is still a slight puffiness hanging around if you look closely* The black eye is at the attractive yellowish purple stage which is upsetting because it looks like I have either a) a dirty face or b) very badly applied eye makeup. These things are upsetting because the WeeGee is an incredibly clean and well groomed creature in the wild. Finally the full extent of the cut has become apparent. The full extent is that it isn’t so much a cut as a small hole in my head. I’m surprised you can’t see bone: that’s how brutal it is.
Did I get any sympathy yet?
The only other consequence of my injury is that I can’t wink. I guess we just have to hope that I don’t meet the man of my dreams before it heals up because as far as chatting people up goes I don’t have much more than my sexy and alluring wink….
Writing that made me think about chat up lines (I told you this was going to be a ramble around my head). I don’t think I’ve ever used one myself but I’ve had a few used on me in my time. Here are some of my favourites:
- Drunk Neanderthal man in a nightclub: ‘…..do you like Oasis’. Me ‘No I prefer Blur’**
- Drunk man in pub: ‘What would you do if I kissed you right now?’ Me: ‘I’d probably poke you in the eye’***. Drunk man in pub: ‘I won’t bother then’****
- Lovely guy with a learning difference at work: ‘My dad says I should get married to someone my own age’. Me: ‘He’s probably right’ Lovely guy with a learning difference at work: ‘I’m 44. How old are you?’
As you can probably tell, I’m not very good at getting chatted up……
Do you know what – I’ve never really been on a date in my life. Not in the formal sense of the word anyway. I’ve always either been a) in a relationship or b) too mental to go on a date. Technically speaking I don’t think I’m too mental to go on a date at the moment – it’s just that I’d rather stick needles in my eye than spend an evening making small talk with a stranger.
I made a nice vegetable tagine for dinner this evening. That isn’t very interesting but it did make me realise that although I would instinctively say that I don’t like tomatoes it isn’t actually true: what I don’t like is RAW tomatoes. Cooked tomatoes are actually up there in my favourites. It’s funny how the brain works, isn’t it. That isn’t very interesting either, is it?
Anyhoo. I think I’ve rambled around in a pointless fashion enough for now. I’ve done this rambling, by the way, because I don’t much feel like talking about the thing that is at the front of my mind today. I’m not hiding anymore but I’m in no mood for talking about what’s really going on.
Meanwhile in other news I have decided to postpone my Homeland viewing until Sunday so I can be at the same point as the rest of the UK. Nothing else to report today save that I was rather amused by the GROWN WOMAN who waved a leek in my face in the seven-eleven and asked ‘is this parsley’? ‘No, it isn’t’, I said. Because what else can you say?
Tatty bye folks
Lots of love WeeGee xxx
*Not that anyone is likely to look THAT closely
**Which wasn’t strictly true but it did the trick
***Regular readers will have predicted my action
****He lost extra marks for his woeful lack of persistence, by the way.
How do you eat an elephant? 
Yes!! Homeland! Only thing I really watch on TV, apart from the local news. 🙂
I hope your eye feels better soon!! Lots of Ellie hugs and sympathy!! 🙂 And I am the opposite with tomatoes, I like raw tomatoes but not cooked tomatoes!! And the “is this parsley” thing made me giggle 😛 xxx
Haha, my sister likes cooked tomatoes and hates raw tomatoes, too. And I’m the opposite–I like raw tomatoes, but cooked tomatoes are disgusting to me . . . just thinking about them makes me feel a little sick, lol.
I’m the same but opposite 🙂 Raw tomatoes make me feel ill. xx
I’m so sorry about your eye lovely. Sending healing thoughts your way. Ps what is a leek anyway? xxxxx
Aww thanks pet. I googled this and apparently leeks aren’t common in America. A leek is a vegtable – looks like a giant spring onion?
If you ever did want to go on a date…
I highly suggest getting to know them as a friend without the complicated crap first. It makes me a bit less mental about the whole thing. In fact the internet is useful for this, so I can small talk my way on their facebook and then we can just talk about fun stuff like Star Wars, and how Lucas ruined it.
Hahahahaha parsley.
Hugs lovely, hope your head gets better, I drop sympathy here —> [/insert sympathy]
Thanking you muchly for the sympathy. I’m almost recovered apart from the hole in my head 😦
I’m happy without dates for the time being. There are enough complications in my life!
Yeah you know, I was thinking entirely the same thing today. I was supposed to be going on a date, now it feels ugh, do I really want to put myself through that?
“Just get another cat, Rhio” xxxx Hugs xx
Oh – but I’m an old misery guts. I vote you go on your date and have yourself a really nice time. Hugs beautiful xx
I’m exactly the same with tomatoes… weird! xx
Raw tomatoes = YUCK. End of story. xx
I didn’t realise Homeland was on this Sunday! I can’t wait!!!
Neither can I. Exciting stuff!!
tons of sympathy pouring out here! i love the ramblings btw! you also made me hungry! lol
Thank you for the sympathy – appreciated. I hope you got something to eat by now? xx
you’re welcome, and i did…lol xo
Great Post. Light and funny. Just what I needed tonight.
Glad to be of service 🙂
Ewwww Ming. I like cold tomatoes. Hot tomatoes are Ming. With a capital M. They are all floppy and the texture is just… Yeah, Ming. Hey I’ve never been on an official date before either. Always weedled out. Date + social difficulties as severe as mine = not gunna happen. The ‘date’ where I met my partner was a university disability day lol. We rock. Xx
Yes you do. You rock big time. I’ve got loads of your blogs to catch up on. Sorry I’ve been rubbish at reading lately. Hope you are okay xxx
That’s okay. No problems. Just the usual with me processing stuff. Its not going anywhere. I have just texted you with my new mobile number. The one with like a tonne of 8’s in it
hope you’re hving a good Saturday xx