Tag: Blogging

Posted in Thirty days of truth

Two for the price of one

Posted on by WeeGee

Tell you what – it’s just as well I’m doing this thirty days of truth thingy-ma-bob because I don’t actually have anything else to tell you about* It’s all very calm and steady here at the moment. Broken brain is on best behaviour and is busy making a few small plans for the future. The Future Starts Here – fingers crossed eh?

So – what does thirty days of truth have in store for me today then? Don’t worry about guessing… I’ll just come right out and tell you:

Day 19: What do you think about religion? Or what do you think about politics?

Oh bums. This is the one I’ve been dreading…..

I suppose I might as well tell you my thoughts on both things. If I’m going to upset people I might as well go the whole hog. Besides, I’ve got time on my hands and one of them won’t take very long.

1. WeeGee’s thoughts on politics.

Two words should do it: deeply cynical.

Just in case you’re interested in few more words here’s a whistle-stop tour:

  • I’m very liberal**
  • I believe that equity, justice and tolerance should be at the heart of governance
  • Democracy matters
  • The welfare state matters as well ***

You don’t need any more words than that, do you?

2. WeeGee’s thoughts on religion.

You’ll notice that I left the difficult one until last. Before I go any further I should say that what follows is nothing more than my own personal view of religion in the broadest sense of the word. I understand that some people reading this will have very different views but I hope that will be okay – differences of opinion are all part of the fun after all.

As far as religion goes I suppose the closest thing to a name for my views is agnostic. To put it bluntly I find the possible existence of some kind of all powerful omnipresent being to be a completely baffling concept. The trouble is that I can’t understand it and if there’s one thing that sits in the middle of my brain it’s a compelling need to understand EVERYTHING****

The existence of god defies logic as far as I can see. It goes against what little I know about science, and time and being. At the same time, I suppose it would be fair to say that the existence of god fits quite neatly with my ideas about hope. Maybe what I’m saying is that I want it to true, but I also can’t accept that it is.

It’s interesting, and perhaps a little convenient that there doesn’t seem to be a way that humans can prove the existence of god. The best we can hope for is to disprove it – but that is completely unsatisfactory when you come to think about it and especially when you factor in the way that human knowledge has, and continues to evolve….

I also struggle with the idea that there is only one god. After all, human beings across the globe seem to believe in a multitude of different gods. It would be tempting to a see that as cultural interpretation of exactly the same thing were it not for the fact that a great many religions condemn those who follow others. It’s impossible for everyone to be right and if they are everyone is surely going to hell….?

Finally, as I’ve already mentioned justice, equity and tolerance are incredibly important to me – those things are essentially my moral code. Unfortunately, from the outside looking in, organised religion seems to have little to do with any of those concepts. As far as I understand it, organised religion provides rules about the right way to do things, and the right things to think. Any other way is fundamentally wrong. I can’t accept that we should operate that way. What about live and let live?

I was listening to Radio Four last week (as is my wont). It was a programme about the role of the Catholic Church in Ireland*****. I mention this because it showed that although a recent survey of the congregation and indeed of society were in favour of both gay marriage and women priests,  the governing body of the church refused to acknowledge that change in opinion. I could probably have  just about accepted that to be fair enough if the refusal to acknowledge was some kind of fundamental theological issue. But, as was quite clearly stated by the said governing body (and I paraphrase) ‘It is possible to change doctrine in light of popular opinion, if changing doctrine IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO’. It would seem that the vast majority of a congregation is not capable of deciding what the right thing to do is….

In conclusion I have this to say: morality and religion are often bound up together. Above all else this is the thing that I can’t find a way to understand. I don’t follow a religion, and I don’t actively believe in any kind of god but I have a strong moral code. It can be summarised thusly:

Be kind. Always and to everybody.

Love from WeeGee xx

*Well I do have one little thing to tell you about but I’m saving it for another day

**With a VERY deliberate lower case ‘L’

***I believe in it in an old fashioned way. We all put in, we all get out: it’s a social contract. The world doesn’t owe anyone a living but we DO owe one another one

****I’m the daughter of an engineer. It’s in my genes

*****Other churches are available******

*******Sorry – is that a bit flippant?

Posted in Thirty days of truth

Day one (or day 18 depending on your take on things): WeeGee writes about gay marriage and hopes nobody gets all upset about it.

Posted on by WeeGee

Okay, so I’ve got some time to kill*and nothing much to say for myself so I pulled a number out of the thirty days of truth hat**

The number I picked was number 18 which is proof positive that you should never, ever, put your trust in random selections. Random selections mean that you end up with one of the most difficult things to start with – at least as far as thirty days of truth is concerned…..

Day 18 is ‘your thoughts on gay marriage’

My views on gay marriage are straightforward and can be summarised thusly: ‘so what?’ Sadly, some people who aren’t gay get all upset about gay marriage and think that it’s a good idea to make sure that people of the same sex can’t get married to each other.

I can’t quite understand why it matters so much who complete strangers get married to. Who complete strangers get married to is of no consequence to anyone apart from the complete strangers, surely? I can just about understand that somebody might oppose gay marriage. But they can make their opposition perfectly clear by not marrying somebody of the same sex. That’s it. The end. Or is it just me?

I guess we have to get to the bottom of what marriage means in the modern world to get to the bottom of my thinking on this. Once upon a time marriage was a symbolic ceremony in which people had their union recognised in the eyes of God. It isn’t that anymore and I know that because ALL of my friends have been married in church yet only TWO of my friends would describe themselves as religious. Marriage has moved on. In the same way that views about slavery, or women, or people with disabilities have moved on.

Marriage is a choice that two people make. It’s a promise they make, in front of the people that matter the most to them. It’s a promise to stay by someone’s side come what may.  It’s a promise between the two people who decide they feel able to make that promise and everybody else needs to butt out and let love be. It’s a promise that we should all be free to make – whoever we happen to be, or whoever we happen to fall in love with.

So there you have my views on gay marriage. Essentially I don’t care – and that can be seen as ‘controversial’. Humans are ridiculous sometimes. I hope that doesn’t offend anybody. I’m just saying, y’know?

Lots of love from WeeGee xx

*Between today’s activities and Dr Who. I’m a geek. I know

**I actually pulled it out of an envelope but a hat sounded better

Posted in Thirty days of truth

Ummm…. Thirty days of truth

Posted on by WeeGee

Once in a while I sit down to write a post and find that everything has fallen out of my head. It’s quite annoying really, because I often can’t write at the very times when writing would probably provide the best distraction from all the dementedness….

I’ve seen a lot of bloggers taking part in ‘thirty days of truth’ – I always enjoy reading ‘thirty days’ posts so I thought I might give it a go for myself. Perhaps it will give me something to write about on the days when the only thing I can think of to say is ‘ummm’….

I’m not going to answer the questions in order, by the way. I’ve written 1-30 on thirty pieces of paper and I’m going to pick one at random whenever I decide to do a thirty days of truth post. I’m setting myself a little challenge, y’see, to do something in the wrong order even though it is probably going to do my head in …. because I’m a crazy kid when it comes down to it.

So here are the thirty days of truth – I’ll add hyperlinks to this page as I go along.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I’ll see you on the other side!

Lots of love from WeeGee

PS – today I got over ‘ummm’ by telling you what I’m going to do the next time ‘ummm’ strikes. Genius huh?

Posted in Reblog
Posted on by WeeGee

I don’t often reblog, but this post really touched me and I wanted to share it. Please do read it.

As you know, I myself am prone to suicidal thoughts, and whilst I can’t help feeling that way it is really important to get this kind of perspective. I will definitely be adding it to my ‘list of things to read’ when I’m standing on the edge.

WeeGee xx

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

Okay while it lasts

Posted on by WeeGee

I feel that I should blog. So here I am – blogging. It’s hard to blog about being mental when you’re not feeling especially mental…..

Whenever I start feeling okay I think “this is it; I’m finally okay” but I have to try to remember that it doesn’t really work like that.

Okay lasts as long as okay wants to and then it replaces itself with not okay again. Which is fine so long as I’m ready for not okay when it comes around. Trouble is it’s almost impossible to truly ready yourself for not okay when things are okay. If you see what I mean?

There are a few things coming up that I need to prepare myself for – anniversaries and such like. It’s daft because the only anniversaries that mean anything to me are the bad ones: it’s x amount of time since such and such a terrible thing happened. Why does that have to matter more than the fact that it’s x amount of time since something good happened? Broken brain is the answer I suppose.

Anyhoo. I’m not feeling particularly mental at the moment, but I’ve got this horrible feeling that the mentals are coming.

Why won’t they just leave me alone?

Lots of love from WeeGee

Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

Okay is okay

Posted on by WeeGee

I thought it was about time I did a little update, but before I come to that there’s a point of order to attend to….

My name is WeeGee, I’m proper mental and I write a blog about how bonkers I am. My head is full of lunacy, insanity and nutty stuff – in fact, it would be fair to say that I’m as mad as a box of frogs. For the avoidance of doubt I am a whack job, psycho, off my rocker, crazy mentalist. Oh, and just to be completely  sure you know what I’m about: I’m a double freaky weirdo loony.

So that’s the point of order taken care of and that’s all I have to say about that. The end.

Now for a little update…..

All things considered I’m doing okay at the moment. I might even be doing more than okay, but I don’t want to tempt fate so I’ll stick with okay. Okay is okay, right?

So I went back to work on Monday after a brief ‘rest’. I’m working part time at the moment which is good for two reasons. Reason 1) it’s good to ease yourself back in to things. Reason 2) working part time is just good full stop.

The good news is that the doom and the gloom seems to have lifted a bit and I can feel something that might just be optimism setting in. Sure there are a few things swimming around in my head that threaten to bite me on the bum at some unspecified point in the future, but whilst they’re not actually biting me I might as well ignore them. There’s no point worrying about them until they actually bite and you never know your luck, they might never do any biting – they might just go away.

I’m putting myself back together and making some little plans. I’m leaving some stuff behind. I’m doing okay. And everything is okay. Which is okay.

Lots of love from WeeGee xxx

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Little things that made me smile

A little note

Posted on by WeeGee

The second most common search term on how do you eat an elephant? at the moment is this:

Where is my brain?

I kid you not…

From time to time I find myself having a bit of a worry about the person* who has lost their brain so I’ve written them a little note to say hello.

A little note to say hello

Dear Person who has lost their brain,

Hello.

I’m truly sorry that you have lost your brain. My own brain has a habit of disappearing every so often so I know how you are feeling. Would you like a hug?

Here’s the thing though. I don’t know where your brain is. Believe me – I’m not the kind of responsible adult who is entrusted with the safekeeping of important things (like theatre tickets. Or brains).

I’m also a bit worried that you – a mixed up person in want of your brain – have found yourself wandering around how do you eat an elephant? Please be warned. It isn’t the best place for you; it’s full of nonsensical nonsense and nutty stuff and will surely do you no good.

Anyway so yeah, I don’t know where your brain is but I do hope you find it soon. By the way, have you looked in the fridge? It’s amazing what turns up in there.

Lots of love (and that hug if you want it)

WeeGee xxx

*Or persons – who knows how many brains are MIA on any given day?

Posted in Welcome to my world

Things and stuff and what not

Posted on by WeeGee

Once again I am writing only for the sake of writing. I think I’m getting paranoid that if I don’t keep writing I will eventually stop writing and that my poor little blog will die.

All is well in WeeGee land. Well you know, as okay as it ever gets. Thanks to Bourbon I’ve been busy writing limericks for most of the day. It’s tremendous fun and is an excellent way of warding off the doom and gloom: it’s hard to feel doomy and gloomy when your brain is occupied trying to think of words that rhyme with ‘bum’*

Here’s my latest effort:

WeeGee and her cat lived in Surrey**

They both had a liking for curry

Two peas in a pod

Though it got a bit odd

When Gee said she wished she was furry.

Ahem. Or should that be amen?

I went out for Sunday lunch today. You know, as in out into the world with friends and stuff like that. I had a super time and once again found myself wondering a) why I don’t force myself to do it more often and b) how I can make sure I remember not to forget that particular gem.

I’m starting to reflect on my time off work a bit. I’m definitely looking forward to going back, because I’m missing the routine , daytime TV is truly shocking and I’ve run out of Breaking Bad*** to watch. At the same time, I really do feel like the time away from it all has been beneficial because I feel more like ‘myself’ than I have for a very long time. The trick now is to keep hold of myself….

Meanwhile in other news I have developed a strange allergy type thing which is affecting only my hands and feet and is itching like mad. At first I thought it was psoriasis and then I thought Gryff might have fleas**** but it is definitely neither of those things. I expect it’ll turn out that I’m allergic to myself because that would be just my luck.

Nothing else to report today save that I have lined up an ‘exciting’ guest writer and will keep you posted and At The Drive In have reformed and this has made me VERY happy because I can now post a celebratory video. Hurrah!

Lots of love and stuff from WeeGee

*Harder still when you are informing a close friend that his face resembles a bum

**We don’t really, but we nearly do and surely poetic licence applies?

***WeeGee LOVES Breaking Bad

****As much as I love him, fleas would see him out on his ear

Posted in Little things that made me smile

WeeGee McStrong

Posted on by WeeGee

There’s a new award doing the rounds at the moment: The Strong Person Award.

This isn’t just any old award though, it’s an extra special one because a) it was created by the very fair hands of the Quiet Borderline* and b) its creation is a beautiful and generous gesture of encouragement and support.

Anyway, three of my fellow bloggers have very kindly put me forward for this award: The Quiet Borderline, Angel Fractured and Bourbon and I have decided to tentatively accept the award. I say tentatively because I’m going to have to break the rules a little bit…. All will become clear!

The Strong Person Award

‘You heard me right! You are not weak, you are strong. You are not a failure, you are a fighter! This goes out to all mentalists. And it’s a gift from me (The Quiet Borderline) to you all – Please spread the love. Mental health is not something to be sneered at and it deserves much more respect. Stop the stigmatising’.

The rules of the award are:

1. Make sure to add in the text and image to spread the love and add how little or how much you want!

 

Done (see above!)


2. Name your diagnoses – Stand loud and proud! You can tell us a little about them also if you’d like. How you’re affected by these diagnoses and how you are fighting your way out of them.

 

Okay, so this is where I break the rules because I don’t talk about my ‘diagnosis’. It’s a personal decision that has nothing to do with stigma, or shame, or secrecy or any other bad thing beginning with ‘S’….

For a long time, even I didn’t know what my ‘official’ diagnosis was. I was worried that the ‘label’ would consume me and that I would use it to give myself permission to let the symptoms take the driving seat.

The thing about my psychiatric diagnosis is that it isn’t very important to me. It’s just a collection of words that describe the bit that is important to me: my symptoms. I suppose my take on it is that I’m not trying to fight a diagnosis, but the symptoms as they manifest themselves on a daily basis.

What I’m trying to say (I’m sorry, I’m not saying it well!) is that I am a person who has mental health problems which fit into a number of different boxes. It doesn’t matter which box I fit in to at any given time, what matters is that I am a person with difficulties who works incredibly hard to manage the symptoms of my broken brain.

Sometimes I get depressed; sometimes I hurt myself on purpose; sometimes I drink too much;  sometimes I don’t eat enough; sometimes I don’t understand the world and the people in it; sometimes I hide; sometimes I wish that I wasn’t alive.

But most of the time I’m just WeeGee trying to make sure than none of those things get the better of me.

I hope you don’t mind that I cheated a little bit….


3. Add a photo of yourself, or some abstract picture that represents you, anything you like!

 

There aren’t a lot of photos of me because I have remarkable skills when it comes to hiding from the camera. Wouldn’t you rather have a picture of Gryff? He’s a handsome little fella:


4. Send this on to as many, yes, as many, people that you like. It can be five, ten, fifty.

 

This is one of those awards that is going to do the rounds, and I’ve already lost track of who has received a nomination. What I’d like to do is pass this award on to each and every one of my readers. Every time I sit down to catch up with WordPress I am blown away by how incredible my blogging buddies are. It’s just so amazing that in spite of what goes on in our heads we still manage to do all the things we do – the jobs and families and blogs and adventures and ups and downs. Truly. Amazing.

So if you are reading this, and you’re mental like me I’d  like you to take heart. You are strong and amazing and I’d very much like you to accept this award from me. As the Quiet Borderline says ‘You are not weak, you are strong. You are not a failure, you are a fighter!’

Lots of love from WeeGee xx
PS – I’m sorry the spacing is all a bit weird. I tried to fix it for ages but my head got done in and I had to give up xx