So. I went to a party. Here’s what happens when WeeGee goes to a party.
1. When she realises that she can’t remember the last time she went to a party she will enter a state of sheer panic. What does one wear to a party? Should I take a gift? Why am I going to a party – I hate parties? What if I cry? What if I make a fool of myself?
2. Taking into account the aforementioned panics plus at least a trillion others WeeGee will decide she is definitely not going to go to a party.
3. However, when she receives a text from the person who is hosting the party saying ‘no worries if you can’t make it tonight. Have a nice evening’ she will decide to go to the party after all because she’s sick of proving everyone, including herself, right.
4. Whilst on the way to the party WeeGee remembers the ‘gift panic’ and makes a detour via waitrose where she spends a stupid amount of time trying to decide whether to take wine, flowers or chocolate.
5. When WeeGee decides she can’t decide whether to take wine, flowers or chocolate she will decide to take all three in order to overcome the problem.
6. However, when she gets into the queue to pay she decides taking all three is ridiculous and has to surreptitiously dump the flowers and chocolate before reaching the till.
7. Upon arriving at the party WeeGee feels like an idiot and has to try very hard not to cry, or puke, or both.
8. When WeeGee realises she spent so long faffing about in Waitrose that she missed SIR FRANK TURNER PLAYING AT THE OPENING CEREMONY WARM-UP she feels like an idiot and has to try very hard not to cry, or puke, or both*.
9. (And this is the big one) WeeGee doesn’t cry, puke, or spontaneously combust, in fact she doesn’t even have a terrible time at the party.
10. WeeGee wonders why she doesn’t go to parties more often.
Lots of love WeeGee, party animal!
*Everytime I remember that I missed SIR FRANK TURNER PLAYING AT THE OPENING CEREMONY WARM-UP I still feel like an idiot and have to try very hard not to cry, or puke, or both.