Posted in Some thoughts about my journey

A different bus

The first song that I wanted to share with you today is so ‘obscure’ that I can’t find it on YouTube and I can’t think of an alternative so I’m a bit stuck as to how to get this post going.

I suppose I could share the other song I wanted to share. It doesn’t relate to the content of my post but it’s been my earworm for the past few weeks and I thought if I posted it on my blog I might be able to banish it from my head:

For the record, I’m not a Kate Bush fan and to be fair it’s probably this version of the song that is stuck in my head:

But no matter….. back to the point.

I had my counselling session today. I don’t tend to write about my counselling sessions because they’re private, but today’s was a bit different because I feel like I had a revelation so I wanted to share it. Be warned though, this is all a bit cryptic so I hope it makes at least some sense….

Mrs Mountain (that’s the counsellor) and I were talking about ‘waiting’ today. Sometimes, I feel like I’m waiting for the future to start which is what got us on to the subject, but it soon became clear that it isn’t just the future that I’m waiting for. I’m waiting for something very specific to happen, and even though I know in my heart that this specific thing is never going to happen, I’m still waiting for it to happen. I don’t know if that’s blind faith, or hope, or stupidity but it’s just the way it goes in my head. I’m happy to wait even if I’m waiting for nothing. Or at least I thought I was.

The thing is Mrs Mountain is good at examples that challenge the way I’m thinking and today’s example was a particularly good one:

If you turn up at a bus stop just after the bus you need has left and you stand there you are waiting – even though the bus isn’t going to show up because you missed it, you’re still waiting. If, on the other hand, you arrive at the bus stop just in time to see your bus pulling away and you choose to stand there anyway you aren’t waiting for the bus anymore. You’re doing something different.

“Fine” I said. “If I stand at the bus stop long enough another bus will come along”

And that was exactly her point. I’m not actually waiting for the thing I think I’m waiting for. I’m just telling myself that for now because I’m not ready to catch a different bus just yet  – but deep inside I know I’m going to be strong enough to catch a different bus sooner or later. That, I think, is a small crypitc step in the right direction!

Love from WeeGee (waiting for a different bus after all)


20 thoughts on “A different bus

  1. Hmm . . . I’m glad the example worked and helped you have a revelation. It’s a bit confusing to me, though . . . couldn’t you just be waiting for the next bus to come if you know you’ve missed the bus? You’re just aware that you’re going to have to get the next one, whereas if you just miss it and don’t see it drive away, you don’t know you’re waiting for the next one, yet that’s the one you’ll have to take. Maybe that’s part of the point and I’m just a bit dense, ha.

  2. This is FREAKY WeeGee. Yesterday we had Heart on at work and the Kate Bush version started playing. It immediatly made me think of the Placebo one and how I hadn’t heard it for ages and how much it relates to depression and the struggle. Once again, I think we are on the same wavelength and sharing a brain. xox

    1. How WEIRD! I definitely prefer the placebo* version – and you’re right, it feels like it really relates to the place you go to when you’re depressed.

      It’s nice to be on your wavelength lovely 😀


      *Placebo are one of those bands who do cover versions well, I find?!

      1. I think so. I really liked their cover of the Pixies Where is My Mind, perhaps better than the original. On the other hand, their cover of Daddy Cool makes me want to break things because it just makes me cringe xox

              1. Ahhh I remember school discos as a kid. I say I remember, I remember going to one then avoiding them for the rest of my life because crowds of people did my head in, even when I was 10…….. I started my social anxiety young. xox

                    1. Oh Sailor – you make me laugh. Saturday Night. I so got that one and then some 🙂 I just did it, but Gryff didn’t care for it….. it’s all those flailing arms 🙂

                    2. What was the other one. The macarena. I couldn’t do that either. My arms seriosuly flail. Recently one of my student nurses tried to teach me an S club 7 one. That was funny 🙂 xox

                    3. Ho ho,ha ha! I can’t do the bloody macarena either!

                      I have vague memories of s club (there ain’t no party?!)

                      You’re wicked you are xx

  3. That’s clever. I like real life examples like that that are applied to more abstract things in life. Makes things feel much more… manageable and okay? in an odd way? Glad you had a revelation today. Those are always good sessions and leaves you with something to chew on for a while. Thanks for sharing. Perhaps it is odd to you that my T sessions are laid out on my blog for the whole world to see? Or not odd, but different, at least. Ugh what am I saying… shut up Jen 😉 xx

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