Lucky pants

After two very rubbish days at work I decided there was only one thing for it: lucky pants. They appear to have done the trick because today is very definitely not going to be a rubbish day at work.

I received my summons to Mrs Scary Boss Lady’s office this morning and after much faffing around under my desk to find some suitably high footwear (more about my footwear shortly) I attended Boss Lady’s office and explained, as I was required to, what had gone wrong. And then Mrs Scary Boss Lady said something I really wasn’t expecting her to say: These Things Happen. Maybe she isn’t so scary after all…..

It’s my dad’s birthday today, so I was thinking about him as I made my way to work in the autumn sunshine. I was thinking about his last birthday, when he turned sixty and WeeGee was mental and had a rotten time trying to drag herself through all the surprises and excitement and general jolly stuff. I wish it was his big birthday this year because then I would be able to enjoy it with him. Anyway – you can’t turn back time, and maybe the main thing to take from my thinking is quite how far I’ve come.

There is an air of happiness and hilarity in the office today. Everyone has got over the explosions and definitely have their eyes on the weekend. Mr Hilarious is on top form today. He greeted me by saying ‘feel how cold my banana is’ whilst pointing a banana at me in the fashion of a gun*. Of course, I didn’t rise to his lewdness but I did feel his banana and can confirm it was very cold indeed. He’s also just asked me to ‘sniff his lunch box’ which suggests that one of the main outcomes of the online dating experiment has been everybody thinking I have turned into Barbara Windsor or somefink.

Here are a few more thoughts about online dating by the way:

• Hints don’t work very well in the online dating world and you sometimes have to resort to YOU ARE SCARING ME NOW. PLEASE EFF RIGHT OFF
• Some people appear to be looking for ‘anybody’ rather than ‘somebody’ which makes me feel sad
• If you are going to choose a user name like Mr Cool, or Trendy Guy or Eligible you should probably think long and hard about whether you’re going to be able to pull it off

I’ve got another post about online dating planned although I might decide to turn it into a PhD instead – Boy Meets Girl: Gender Politics in the Online Dating World….. Anyway – the main thing to say about my online dating experiment is that it’s on hold pending a trip to the Science Museum on Sunday** and ***

What next? Oh yes, I was going to tell you about my shoes. After yesterday’s hole in the shoe incident I decided I was going to be very particular about my foot wear today. So – I was rooting about trying to find a pair of shoes that could be added to a suit that would be quirky enough to make it feel like I wasn’t actually wearing a suit**** and I found a pair of shoes I’d never worn before. I’d never worn them because I wasn’t quite sure about them but couldn’t put my finger on why I wasn’t quite sure of them.

Anyway I went with the shoes on a whim. As the morning dragged on I decided to go and visit the IT Crowd because I fancied a small skive***** I walked into the office and said ‘hey IT Crowd I’ve come for a skive’ and one of the IT Crowd said ‘Hey WeeGee – why are you wearing your slippers?’ And then I realised why I wasn’t quite sure about my shoes.

Meanwhile in other news I tried really hard with my asterisks today in an attempt to reclaim the blog asterisk world record from Ellie the Anxious Elephant but alas – I did not succeed. Never fear though Ellie, I will try again soon because I consider myself to have been challenged! Nothing else to report today save that I Is Back Init?!

Lots of love and hugs from WeeGee xxxx

*Which reminded me of my favourite comedy Family Fortunes answer ever. “We asked 100 people something you can do with a banana” Genuine top answer: give it to a monkey?!

**First date to the Science Museum – how cool is that?

***That’s the one you’ve got your fingers crossed for

****I don’t always wear a suit but decided I’d rather receive a telling off in a suit because then it wouldn’t really be me getting told off it would just be me doing an impression of somebody wearing a suit getting told off

*****Because every self respecting (occasional) skiver knows that’s the best place to skive because it’s good fun and  even if you get caught you can just make up a couple of acronyms beginning with V and then talk about scalability and stability and stuff and nobody is any the wiser