Posted in Living with cancer

Looks like my hardcore rock and roll days are behind me, folks….

Since last I wrote things haven’t exactly been going to plan but let’s face it – things not exactly going to plan is hardly even news here in WeeGee land anymore.

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Much like my life at the moment, this cake didn’t exactly go according to plan

The long and the short of it is that these was no chemo for me again last week, but that everything’s back on track again now and as of Friday, I’ve started with the Carbo/Taxol combo again. There was the small matter of the COMPETELY UNNECESSARY mad dash to the hospital with a swollen arm somewhere in the middle of it all but we can put that down to an over cautious district nurse and NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.

Anyway, once the Registrar had given me the all clear to take myself and my only very slightly swollen arm home TEN MINUTES after arriving (don’t mention the FORTY MINUTE journey there) I found myself in Leicester on a sunny Wednesday afternoon. I decided to have a poke around some of the city’s cultural offerings so at least the whole trip wasn’t a complete waste of time.

IDay at the museum MG_4506
New Street Museum and Art Gallery, Leicester.

In the end I had a three-week break from chemo and truth told, it was pretty frustrating at times. I’d just gotten my head around the whole weekly chemo thing only to have it postponed two weeks running. Even now, more than four months on from the diagnosis, I still feel like I spend half my time waiting for my brain to catch up with the reality of what’s going on around me. In the space before chemo got going again I found my thoughts racing ahead of me, focusing on the next steps – the surgery, the radiation therapy, life post treatment. It was exactly what I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do: this fight is very much about looking at what’s directly in front of me and dealing with it, but I had spare brain capacity and time on my hands. Thankfully Mr Awesome Thing Number Five noticed the doomy gloomies starting to gather (again), and with a little help from my nearest and dearest, made sure I got out and about in good company, with my chin firmly up once more.

I can’t claim the break was all bad news because – and here’s the thing – I probably really needed it. I was well and truly whacked from the infection debacle that landed me in ward 39 a couple of weekends back and I needed to rest. By the end of the fortnight off I felt better than I had for a very long time. It’s a strange thing – chemo. You can never quite be sure whether you’re feeling chemo shitty, or, just plain old fashioned shitty. On reflection I think the infection may have taken a little more out of me than I had first thought and a lot of what’s been going on recently has been shitty of the plain old fashioned variety. In all honesty I’m maybe a little bit glad I got the extra time to recover. As I write, pretty much 24 hours after the chemo I’m feeling tip top, and I reckon only about half of that is the rather hefty dose of steroids I took this morning.

The arrival of some good solid sunshine here in the UK is very welcome indeed especially arriving, as it did, just in time for the long Easter weekend. My Easter didn’t exactly get off to the most festive of starts what with spending Good Friday in the chemo suite getting five hours worth of poison pumped into my veins and all but hey ho – at least I got a window seat and a table to unpack my little picnic this time round:

I can’t remember if I’ve written about the process of getting IV chemotherapy before perhaps because there isn’t all that much to say. It’s pretty boring, and pretty routine and the ward can be pretty solemn. I think everyone is mindful that everyone else is doing their own best to get through what they are going through in their own way. I guess you find that you go out of your way to be quiet and respectful. From time to time you strike up conversations but you really have to gauge it quite carefully so as not to trample all over somebody else’s coping strategy. Aside from that my top tips for chemo are quite straightforward– take a book or something to occupy you, headphones and snacks. Then all you’ve got to do is lie back and think of Scotland* – it really isn’t as bad as you think it’s going to be. If it wasn’t for the combination of pre med antihistamines and the alcohol content of the actual chemo drugs you’d probably be quite capable of driving yourself home afterwards….

Now the weekly chemo is done with I’ve got a fairly pedestrian Easter weekend planned, even though I feel completely fine. I mean, there’s no need for heroics here, is there? In view of the liver scores a couple of weeks ago I’ve been instructed to lay off the drugs, alcohol and rock and roll lifestyle INDEFINITELY. In years gone by that might have scuppered a perfectly acceptable Saturday night. Alas – times have changed and all I ever really had my eye on for tonight was a nice glass of Robinson’s summer fruits, a couple of ibuprofen and the second ‘Fantastic Beasts’ film on the telly box. I don’t know if it’s a chemo thing, or a nearly forty thing but I don’t mind either way. The rest of the weekend has been given over to sitting in the garden (with a generous slathering of factor 50 like all good chemo patients), writing, reading and polishing up a cool brass planter I picked up in an antiques shop a while back. Who knows, I might push the boat out and do a bit of weeding in my newly acquired garden – time will tell.

Better view 9F0285E0-5583-4546-8E4E-96F617096290
A slightly better view than yesterday

I think that’s all from me folks. It pretty much brings you up to date with the goings on here in WeeGee land, which granted aren’t exactly laugh a minute. What can I say – thanks for sticking with me! I’ve got all kinds of more entertaining posts planned, but I like to make sure we’re all up to date on the serious stuff before we get on to the fun stuff again.

Speaking of fun, the creative writing course I mentioned in my last post started on Monday and seems to be shaping up quite nicely so far. Over the next ten weeks I’ll be publishing the various snippets of creative writing that I put together during the course here, if anyone is particularly interested in reading them….

I’ll sign out with a song and bid you farewell.

Speak soon!

Love you all lots like Jelly Tots,

WeeGee xoxox

 

*Other nations are available