Since last I wrote I have mostly been being in hospital with, and I shit you not, a bit of a cold. I mean, I’ve always tended towards the overly dramatic but hot-footing it to the hospital with a runny nose? That’s expert level drama queen for you that is.
Of course, I’m making light of it, because that’s what I do, but my temperature peaked at 38.9 and I felt pretty poorly and fed up for a while. The good news is it was NHS to the rescue once again, and with the help of some IV antibiotics, I was home and tucked up in my own bed recovering 48 hours later.
Spending time on the acute oncology ward was a pretty sobering experience and I was reminded of the ‘young, fit and healthy’ tag that has followed be around since my diagnosis: I was the youngest patient by a couple of decades and, on a ward of six people, the only one who didn’t have at least one other serious health condition to contend with as well. Surprisingly perhaps, it was also a much more cheerful place than you might imagine. I met some truly amazing women during my short stay – some of them well into their eighties and all of them facing up to cancer with some considerable aplomb. I hope that when I am old I am half as wise and every bit as brave and forthright as the women I met this weekend. I’ll certainly think of them often as I make my way through my treatment and beyond.
April is the cruellest month
I suppose what I’m really writing to say is that April didn’t quite get off to the flying start I was hoping for….
Before the high temperature/infection fiasco and just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, my third weekly chemo was called off because I failed my blood test even though I am a swot and I HAVE NEVER FAILED A TEST IN MY LIFE. To be honest, it didn’t come as much of a surprise because I’d been feeling completely whacked since starting the Carbo/Taxol regime a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, the blood results showed elevated ALP levels – possibly indicating that my liver is not coping particularly well with new chemo drugs. Huzzah…..
We’ve done a new set of bloods this morning to see what’s what now I’ve had a week or so away from the chemo and I’m meeting with the oncologist tomorrow to discuss the plan of action. It may well be that the high ALP levels last week were a bit of an outlier and that everything is fine, or we may need to reduce the dose, or perhaps even rethink the treatment plan altogether. I’m hoping for one of the first two, not least because when it comes to triple negative breast cancer, the EC/Carbo/Taxol combination really is gold standard. In other areas of the country there are women with triple negative diagnoses fighting like lionesses to get access to this particular combination of drugs, so it doesn’t feel like something I want to give up on lightly. That said, liver failure doesn’t sound like much fun to me, so we’ll wait and see what the experts have got to say.
Take a break
All things considered I’m in pretty good spirits so there’s no need to panic about that. The doomy gloomies that were starting to gather a couple of weeks ago seem to have blown over and all is calm and easy going here in WeeGee land again. I’ve taken a couple of days out of work to get myself fully better and to keep hold of the sense of perspective that has settled around me. I love my job, and i need to feel as useful as I can during my treatment – but my job can be taxing and stressful at times. The thing is, being an awesome Information Governance Manager can’t be my number one priority right now because that spot is already occupied by taking good care of myself and being as well as I possibly can be. I’m lucky, I have an amazing employer and even more amazing line manager – I have the luxury of being able to take my foot off the gas every once in a while and right now, I think I’m due a bit of a break.
Meanwhile in other news
Meanwhile in other news I’ve finally signed up for the creative writing class I’ve been meaning to get myself involved with since I went to the KU Big Read event featuring Gail Honeyman last October. I loved ‘Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine‘ so very much, and I found Gail’s talk really inspiring. I promised myself that by the time I was 40 this August I would at least have made a start on writing a novel. Step one is the University of Strathclyde’s Blaze course which I start next Monday so, you know, watch this space…..
Nothing else from me today, save to say that if you could keep your fingers crossed for my chemo actually going ahead this week I’ll love you even more than I already do.
I’ll leave you with a tune, which granted, is fairly miserable but it’s also really pretty in its own way, and it’s been my ear worm ALL WEEK so I can’t think of another to share anyway…..
Love you all lots, like lots and lots of jelly tots,