It gets tiring sometimes, doesn’t it? Being alive, and being mental, and having ‘things on your mind’. I feel like I’m unravelling. I want to gather myself up but somehow, I just can’t seem to manage it. I can’t make it stop. I can’t make it go away.
Do you know what I wish? I wish there was a way that I could just let people look in to my head so that they could see it all without me having to say it all. I don’t know how to say it, I really don’t. I like words and I know a lot of them but when it comes to what’s in my head I struggle to find the right ones.
Do you know what else I wish? I wish there was somebody out there who knew the answer to what’s in my head. I know that there isn’t an answer but I wish there was and I wish I could find the person who knows it. I suppose I’m still looking for somebody to save me with the answer. It’s stupid because I have no idea what the question is so how can I expect somebody to answer it for me?
I’m telling myself to ‘keep my head’ and that it will be ‘okay’. I’m trying not to think what ‘okay’ means. Does being okay mean that I stay alive or does it mean something different? I hope it means something different but I suspect it doesn’t. Is the point of being alive really nothing more than that you manage to stay alive? I don’t get it.
I’m sorry that I can’t find better words than that.
I’m sorry I’ve written a pointless post. I felt like I wanted to get something out, and I did – although I’m not entirely sure what I have achieved in the end. I suppose I wrote about nothing and nowhere. That’s where my head is at.
What can I say? Stay tuned for more pointless posts!
Lots of love from WeeGee xx